the Consulting Detective, the Soldier, the Consulting Criminal and the British Government

Ed Sheeran, Brixton, 21st Jan 2012.

Martin is not impressed with the boxes. Do they not know he won a BAFTA?

They both break the 4th wall.

“He was spot on. The way he spoke, the way he looked. His hair.”

“Honey, I’m home!”

“How was your day?”

“Oh, great! Had a whale of a time. That’s a funny phrase don’t you think? How can a whale be a sort of time? And why a whale? Why not a horse or a giraffe or a badger? Ooh, I like that. A badger of a time. Yes I think I’ll start saying that instead, much cuddlier. Today I had a badger of a time.”

“Sweetie-“

“I had a small, black and white, furry sort of time.”

Sweetie-

“Don’t need a watch, because I know it is exactly badger o’clock.”

“Sweetie!”

“I wonder if a whale of a time is longer than a badger of a time? Or maybe it’s just wetter. And less fluffy.”

“SWEETIE!”

“Yes? Honestly River, there’s no need to shout.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”